I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
