i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
