it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
