1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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