What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
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