Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
