69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
