I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
