New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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