u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
