For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
