either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just cropdusted the office
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
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