i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
someone owes me an orgasm
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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