It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
