its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
