Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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