i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
