Don't you send me to vm
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
