my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
