i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I need to stop coming to work sober
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
