They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
