I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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