billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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