and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
All the doctor said was why
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
