Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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