take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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