i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
