exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
