thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
