i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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