complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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