New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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