PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.