it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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