kristin has been a bad kristin
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
