Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
These tits shall not be calmed
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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