omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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