you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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