So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
