I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
