I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
