Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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