Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
