Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
