He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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