My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
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