Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
