well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
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i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
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Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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