What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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