just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Who died my cat blue again?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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