escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
