I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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