Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
