Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
