So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
