I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize