3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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