dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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