I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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