As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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